Passion – wonderful, uncontrollable life (Indie 30 – Day 17)

Passion – wonderful, uncontrollable life (Indie 30 – Day 17)

Bootsnall prompt: It’s easy to be passionate about travel, but does that passion permeate the rest of your life? Do you live and work with passion? Why or why not?

I had a bit of a meltdown this afternoon. I have a big goal of going to Prague in February and then doing some teaching and living abroad for awhile. In the past couple of months, some serious obstacles have presented themselves. I have to put off my trip for at least two months, probably more. So when I saw today’s topic, I really didn’t want to write about passion.

Why?

Because (at least for me) passion conjures up positive images first. Advice like “follow your passion” suggests that one do what they love in order to make them happy. Travel and the English language are two of my passions, but their existance as my passion certainly was not making me happy earlier today. I was wishing I could be happier doing something simpler than travel and write, something more stable like a 9 to 5 job. But I just wouldn’t be – not at this point in my life.

But passion (despite its many positive connotations) is really about intensity. One can have both passionate hatred and passionate love.

When I asked Google to define passion, these were the first two answers:

  1. Strong and barely controllable emotion.
  2. A state or outburst of such emotion.

Under these definitions, I travel and live life with incredible passion. When I have to, I can take things in stride. And I take little things with a grain of salt (really little things), but all in all, I’m pretty intense. Some people can’t take that about me. I’ll admit, I can be exhausting. I can be in the Emergency Room having just heard the news that I have pneumonia and will be admitted three days before my best friends wedding and start laughing only to be crying about the same thing five minutes later (actually, I can do that on a random Wednesday night if the right mood strikes). Sometimes, I cry at the beginning of sad movies because I know they’re going to be sad (example #1: Eight Below). I get excited about Groundhog Day, one year my friend Angela and I made all our friends Groundhog’s Day cards.

Do I overwhelm myself with my passion sometimes? Yes. But does that bother me? Not usually. It keeps things interesting. I don’t get along well with people who don’t get excited by the little things – they’re too boring. Life, for good or ill, is meant to be lived – and I live it emotionally. I like it.

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