Almost Remission

Almost Remission

I’m so close to Crohn’s disease remission it hurts.

Seriously, it hurts in my GUTS. It’s actual, physical pain (mostly soreness with occasional bouts of stabbing).

On Wednesday, I drank an entire bottle of white grape juice, some chicken broth, a lot of water, a double espresso with sugar, and sixty-four ounces of Gatorade mixed with an entire bottle of Miralax that said “14 once-daily doses” in the corner.*

Yesterday, I had a colonoscopy.**

Rule # 1: Always wear you Team Challenge gear to the hospital.

Rule # 2: When you’re about to leave home and your fiance presents you with a peanut butter sandwich to eat after your colonoscopy try not to cry. It’ll probably freak him out.***

Panic Button. (Seriously?! The nurse call button is BRIGHT RED! It’s just BEGGING people to push it. FOR FUN.)

And today my guts hurt. My guts hurt because after 17 months of treatment with the biologic medication Remicade I’m still not quite in remission. But I am so close.

The medicine is working. I am SO MUCH better than I was in summer 2012. In fact, in the summer of 2012, I couldn’t even imagine feeling this good. In summer 2012, I had numerous large bleeding ulcers, swelling of the intestines, and a stricture (where your intestines get really narrow). That colonoscopy led to my diagnosis of Crohn’s disease and I felt lousy the day after that one, too, but that time I’d been feeling lousy for weeks and months beforehand so it was no great shock.

These days, I feel pretty good. But I’m not surprised there were a few ulcers left. My doctor took biopsies of them, which is probably why my guts hurt so much – nobody likes being cut into and ulcers, in my experience, get particularly annoyed about it.

I called my doctor’s office to ask about the symptoms (because once she told me to call if I so much as stubbed my toe). A little pain in the guts isn’t unusual for someone at my level of health. But I was given a list of things to watch out for/reasons to go to the ER and was told that I should be 100% better tomorrow. I hope so.

Stuck a little reminder to my desk. Because self care reminders are key.

I have NONE of this going on, so I’m gonna have some bread and juice, watch a movie, and rest up.

Someday, I’ll be in remission.

Someday, there will be a cure.

Because as soon as I feel better, I’m going to be pounding the pavement to get in shape for that half marathon for Team Challenge. And I can ask for donations from my bed, so make my day:

And now for that movie…maybe I’ll re-watch Butter.

*Somewhere, there’s a drinking game in this…somewhere. I’m working on the rules. Don’t panic, participants not prepping for a colonoscopy get regular alcoholic drinks.

**If you had told me even a year ago that I’d be willing to tell ANYONE about this, I’d have called you a liar and laughed in your face. IBD changes you.

***But if you do cry, forgive yourself because you haven’t had solid food in over 24 hours.

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